Hi there! I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas (and/or another holiday you celebrate). This post was 99% written a week ago and today seems as good a time as any to post it. Hopefully...
This has been lingering in the back of my mind for a while and smacks me in the face each time I see the singlet hanging up in my closet. I kept thinking I had a good reason not to officially say anything, but I really didn't.
Yeah, you might not consider the badge on the blog subtle. But, it isn’t the same as a post saying “Hey everyone! I’m part of this amazing group of runners, most of whom happen to be wicked fast and in shape and win/place in races but I’m neither of those things, just chubby and injured and slow.” Part of me doesn’t want to embarrass the brand. And part of me doesn’t want to embarrass myself. I get that “other people” chatter going in my head. “SHE’S associated with Oiselle?” following by mocking laughter while they run away on their 7 minute mile recovery runs.
But…right now my readership seems to be my sister and MS, so….yeah. Plus, chubby injured and slow IS the runner I am right now. That isn’t the runner I WANT to be, nor is it the runner I have the POTENTIAL to be. I haven’t worn the singlet in a race yet, partly because of the “I’m injured, I can participate but not race” thing and partly because I don’t want to post what chubby looks like in team gear. I am torn between being (gently) honest with who I am (and the many runners out there who might identify with that) OR continuing to leave this part of my running life out of the picture because I harbor the belief that I’d be embarrassing poorly representing the Oiselle brand/exposing myself to internet ridicule (you know, for all 2 of my readers ;)).
However, becoming a part of The Flock involved no vetting. I didn’t have to run X:00 miles or win X number of races. There are several other team aspects of the brand that are specific to runners who can do those things. In my case, all I needed a passion for running, a love for the brand, and a desire to share both with as many people as possible. DONE.
Bottom line, the issue isn’t the imaginary “other people” or the Internet. The issue is how I see myself and the value judgments I place on what I see. So, what do I do about that? I’m not sure. For now, this is what I do know. Being a runner isn’t static. Being an athlete isn’t static. Being a human being is NOT static. Yes, I am the runner/athlete/human I am right now. But that isn’t the same runner/athlete/human I was two years ago. And I bet another two months from now I won’t be the same yet again. Not better, not worse, just different.
So please allow me to introduce…myself. Flock runner. Head up, wings out.