2015 flew by. I could never have anticipated all of the ups and (mostly) downs that the year brought me. Before I get into all that, I thought I would take a look at the reset post I wrote in early January. I kicked off the year with a 30 day yoga challenge led by Erin Motz, through DoYouYoga. I can't help but be amused at the following statement:
"Life is so unpredictable and I've learned over time that nothing is set in stone. I can make all the plans in the world but that doesn't mean any of them will work out, no matter how hard I try."
That is absolutely the theme of this year. Unpredictable. Plans gone awry. The idea that I have any semblance of control over anything. How many times can a person learn that lesson? Injury. Treatment. Injury. Setback. Treatment. Repeat. Rather than regurgitate what I've already posted over the course of the year, I'm going to play some High-Low here. Running High, Life High, Running Low, Life Low.
Running High: Finishing Army Ten Miler. After missing out on other races earlier in the year, crossing that finish line meant the world to me. Even though my first DNF came a few short weeks later, I still see ATM as a turning point in my rehab. It might be taking longer than I want it to, but my body is responding and I will be able to keep running. What a relief!
Life High: Climbing Gros Piton during my vacation in St. Lucia. It was incredibly strenuous and I had plenty of opportunities to give up. The views on the climb and from the summit were incredible and that ice cold Piton beer after we came back down made it all worth it. I am slowly convincing my brain that my body can do hard things. I may never have a chance to climb it again and I didn't want to have any regrets from that trip.
Running Low: Surprisingly, the DNF is not my running low. That low came early in the year, at the NFECS relay in April. I was supposed to be racing in my Oiselle singlet for the first time with three other teammates and another team of four Birds. Instead I hobbled around, got a horrible sunburn, and felt my heart break into so many frustrated and bitter pieces. No amount of "you'll be back out there soon" helped. It just hurt. Period. No picture needed.
Life Low: I got kicked in the teeth a few times this year, and I think that is par for the course. The biggest hurt continues today as I still mourn the loss of my sweet cat Tucker. He showed signs of illness right before we went to St. Lucia and I was in contact with the vet where he was boarded every day we were gone. The morning after we got home, he went into surgery. We thought we might be able to give him a few months but within three weeks he was gone. I cannot begin to articulate the level of pain I experienced the night we said goodbye and in the days and weeks that followed. Just over three months later and the pain isn't as intense but we miss him every day. I mention him at least once at day as so many things remind me of his happy, silly, dopey personality. His sister struggled too, but she's healing along with MS and I. When the time is right, we will bring another furkid home. Not just yet though. Not just yet.
So, 2015. There you have it. It was an absolute test of my mental and emotional strength. I am glad to put it in my rear view but I'm carrying a lot of lessons with me into 2016. I've got a really good feeling about this year.